Quitting on your own terms

    Make These Changes to Stop Being Ghosted

    Ghosting is at an all-time high

    However, how would you feel if you knew that 90% of the times that you’ve been ghosted were your fault? Or that they could have been prevented in the first place?

    You may not believe that, but I want you to hear me out. 

    Almost every day, I hear, “we had a great conversation, then nothing. Why am I always getting ghosted?” It’s a great question and, let’s face it, getting ghosted sends you down a mental rabbit hole full of frustration! Yet, EVERYONE has been ghosted at least once. And, if we’re completely honest, we’ve all done some ghosting ourselves.

    On top of everything, ghosting seems to happen the most when people are looking for work, which can be the most frustrating of it all.  

    The sad reality

    Here’s the reality: people don’t mean to, but sometimes, they suck. I truly don’t believe that many people have the intention of ghosting you. I don’t think they intentionally tell you, “I can give you an update next week,” knowing fully that they’ll never speak to you again. I think they legitimately want to do the right thing, but sometimes, things go off track. 

    Ghosting is and always will be a thing. You can either sit back and complain about it OR take the actions needed to significantly reduce the number of times you get ghosted. 

    I want you to realize one important fact: technology provides anonymity and anonymity eliminates accountability.  Put differently, the more you rely on technology and not on good old-fashioned human interaction, the more you will get ghosted. I guarantee it. 

    How to reduce how often you’re being ghosted

    Do you want to significantly reduce how often you’re ghosted? Stop relying on job boards, email, and text messages, and start making human connections again. When you have a human touch, you become more visible to the person you’re talking to. As a result, they’ll feel much more inclined to follow through rather than if you were just another message on a computer screen. 

    Simply put: when you increase your human interaction, you will decrease the number of times you get ghosted. 

    Three important questions to ask yourself

    Question #1: Did you give them an easy way out? If you didn’t, it’s likely they said yes and didn’t mean it because they wanted to avoid the embarrassment of saying no. In your message, how well did you clarify the next steps, timing, who’s on point and what could go wrong?

    People generally have good intentions, but as the saying goes- the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Good intentions alone don’t get the job done. 

     Question #2: Was there something in it for them? People are busy and, just like you, they need to have an upside too.

    Question #3: How and how often did you follow up? Remember, no one is thinking about you as much as you think they are. People are busy and you need to stay pleasantly persistent.


    Our client, Adria, struggled with this big time. She’d have a great conversation, end it, and then nothing.  

    Although, when she thought about the three questions you just read and adjusted her approach, her ghosting levels went down to almost zero!

    All the time, I say you need to become the CEO of your career.  If ghosting is slowing down your job search, career ambitions, or just how you get things done, you should check out our website and dive head-first into countless free resources to help eliminate ghosting and shift your career into high gear.  


    Get started today!

    Book your free 20 minutes strategy session with Tammy by clicking the button below.

    Keep Learning

    Find more remote job hunting strategies over on our YouTube Channel.

    Tammy Alvarez is a visionary who catalyzes leaders to level up their performance for themselves and their businesses. Her spirited “Break all the Rules” approach blends decades of C-Suite experience on Wall Street with a pragmatic, results-based coaching style that helps business professionals create a big impact and love every Monday morning again.

    Tammy Alvarez

    CEO/Founder, Career Winners Circle

    About The Author

    Tammy Alvarez is the CEO and Founder of the Career Winners Circle.  A coaching firm that helps ambitious leaders in financial services and STEM industries rebuild vibrant careers without compromise, land new roles in 4-5 months, earn 20% more on average, and never hate Mondays again.  Tammy has started the #RemoteCareerRevolution so every knowledge worker can have a voice and benefit from gaining access to the tools and resources they need so they can have a vibrant career and lifestyle. Click here to learn more about the Remote Career Revolution.

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